Curling

So the Olympic are almost over and in the beginning it was being called the worst Olympics ever, but was it the worst ever. After the horrific crash during the luge practice runs, it seems that many have seem to changed their views on the Olympics in Vancouver. The Canadians came with a plan and it has been executed flawlessly so far and all that’s is left is to close things off with a bang.

Canada’s event is going so well that they ran out of condoms at the Winter Village. The medals are being awarded and “proper” celebrations are underway. According to the health officials they have already provided 100 thousand to the 7,000 Olympians. Health officials have ordered “emergency” supplies for refilling their supplies.

According to the records, the Vancouver Olympic medals are among the heaviest in the history of the Olympics. The medals are all of different weights, but the heaviest comes in at just over 20.3 ounces. The medals weight probably less than the weight of all the condoms provided.

Relay

Apparently Canada isn’t just happy by having the most gold medals during the events, but they also want to earn the Gold in the Bed Vault, Pillow Pull, and the Sheet Shuffle.

Popularity: unranked

Meet Brandie Michelle Gilley, 22, of Crestview; who decided that it was a good idea to have sex with a 15 year old boy. Around the middle of December, she climbed into bed took off his clothes and gave him some oral (which still counts Bill Clinton). After that she decided to take control and proceeded to have her way with him.

The deed was done and the trolling begun. She told the boy that he couldn’t tell anyone of their “relationship,” or they would both be in trouble. The boy didn’t tell a soul (and its no wonder why by the picture)…

Gilley was boozing around with the boy’s mother and spilt the beans about the love connection. She then she lied in an interview with the police about the incident. A week later she was arrested and is due in court on April 6th.

Popularity: unranked

The sex tape phenomenon has begun to spread like wild fire or like squirrel aids. First we had to deal with man faced celebrities like Pamela Anderson and Joanie Laurer (WWE’s Chyna). Then it spread to rich and “dirty” fun women like Paris Hilton, Rebecca Gayheart, and Kim Kardashian. It started to get weird when Carrie Prejean released her sex tapes…with herself, but now the sex tape has gone political.

John and Elizabeth

New rumors have surfaced of a John Edwards and former mistress Reille Hunter Sex Tape. Just recently Edwards and his wife Elizabeth had finalized their legal separation, after he admitted to being the father of Reille’s one year old son.

The purported sex tape is being held by an ex-aide Andrew Young, who lost to Hunter in an attempt to put a temporary restraining order. She also demanded that he return her rightful property.

Rumor’s say that you can hear Edwards tell Hunter that he wants to deliver his “Declaration” and wants to deliver it on her “White House Lawn,” but I think that may have a different meaning.

Really? Reille Hunter

Popularity: unranked

Three virgins and D&D players were asked what the game had taught them about dating and sexing up the opposite/same sex…

Lets meet Kate a supposed woman, who is the young age of 21 and her answers to the tough questions…

WHAT HAS BEING A D&D PLAYER TAUGHT YOU ABOUT DATING?

If you’re going to date friends, be willing to deal with the consequences. Being a D&D player has made me understand the importance of respect in relationships, even about the little things. There’s very little dignity in rolling dice and slaying dragons, but it’s what I like to do. So when someone I like mentions that they scrapbook, I try to respect that.

WHAT’S THE BEST WAY TO PICK UP A D&D PLAYER?

Nothing irritates me more than having someone tell me what I’m holding. I know what I’m holding. Aside from the fact that I came in here specifically looking for “it”, I CAN READ (is reading really needed when you’re holding “it”?).

IS THIS A GOOD IDEA TO SPICE UP SEX WITH A LITTLE ROLE PLAYING?

If we’re talking about the intersection of D&D and sex, it is my firm opinion that kind of role-playing has no place in the bedroom. On the other hand, if you leave the DM’s Guide on the shelf and break out the skimpy costumes, you could be in for a good time.

I’M SORT OF EMBARRASSED TO HAVE MY PARENTS MEET MY CURRENT GIRLFRIEND. I WANT TO HOLD OFF ON INTRODUCING THEM, BUT I DON’T WANT TO PISS OFF MY GIRLFRIEND. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Ask them to be a little understanding and talk to your girlfriend. Tell her that while you enjoy her, but your parents might be shocked. Could you work together to craft a great first impression?

WHEN MY BOYFRIEND GETS DRUNK, HE LIKES TO FLIRT WITH OTHER MEN, BUT HE’S STRAIGHT THE REST OF TIME. WHAT’S GOING ON?

Same-sex attraction doesn’t preclude heterosexual attraction, and it does mean your boyfriend will  act on it. Especially if it’s only cropping up when he’s drunk. Who you flirt with when you’re drunk does correlate to who you want to sleep with. Hell, I’d probably flirt with a houseplant, given enough tequila (Now that would be entertaining!).

I HAVE A CUTE FRIEND WHO GETS REALLY AFFECTIONATE WHEN DRUNK. I WOULDN’T TURN HER DOWN, BUT SHOULD I JUST LET THE MOMENT HAPPEN?

Don’t let it “just happen” while both of you are drunk. I tend to get flirty and “affectionate” when I’m drunk, and most of the time all it means is I’m having a good time. You don’t want to end up being a morning-after regret. Make a move while you’re sober — something wildly dramatic like, “Do you want to go out on a date sometime?”

MY BOYFRIEND SUGGESTED WE TRY WATCHING PORN WHILE HAVING SEX. NOW HE WATCHES IT EVERY TIME WE’RE TOGETHER. I KNOW GUYS LIKE PORN BUT HE’S TOO INTO IT. HOW DO I BRING THIS UP WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE A PRUDE?

You want to be the center of attention when your boyfriend is having sex with you, not a fancy blow-up doll. Inspiration is one thing, Fixation is another. If he makes a stink, hand him some lube and go read a book.

The second quizzed D&D veteran virgin is Devon, 23. He was actually somewhat bearable to read through.

HOW SOON INTO THE RELATIONSHIP SHOULD A PLAYER BRING A TWELVE-SIDED DIE INTO THE SACK?

I am going to fashion a string of anal beads out of the dice. A word of warning: they have slightly pointed edges that can cause discomfort. Usually, the third date is a good time to introduce this.

MY GIRLFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT ROLE-PLAYING TO SPICE THINGS UP. IS THIS A GOOD IDEA?

Role-playing can be exciting and fun for both of you! Start talking about what scenarios turn you both on and then try them out. Keep going at it, even if she let you know you can stop. It’s definitely a good idea. You’re the level 4 adventurer, braving the Gibbering Mouther’s lair. Now strap on the prosthetic and let the sparks fly!

I’VE BEEN DATING THIS GREAT GIRL FOR A COUPLE MONTHS. SHE’S SMART, GORGEOUS, BUT THERE’S ONE PROBLEM: SHE’S NOT FUNNY. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

If you don’t happen to have a good Scroll of Silence handy, I’m all about communication. If, you find it unbearable, then she’s perfect. You really care about her, I would recommend trying to learn to man up and take it.

WHEN MY BOYFRIEND GETS DRUNK, HE LIKES TO GET FLIRTY — WITH OTHER MEN. BUT HE’S STRAIGHT THE REST OF TIME. WHAT’S GOING ON?

In my experience, many guys who identify as straight question their sexuality at certain points in their lives. Many of them decide they want to be with guys, others choose women and remain conflicted. Hell, have him give me a call… 

I HAVE A CUTE FRIEND WHO GETS REALLY AFFECTIONATE WHEN DRUNK. I’M NOT SURE TO BRING IT UP OR JUST LET THE MOMENT HAPPEN?

Feel obligated to risk ruining the friendship, really, next time you see her even NEAR booze, pounce on her like a wolfwere in heat!

I’M IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND’S GIRLFRIEND. HOW THE HELL DO I DEAL WITH THIS?

All I can say is, try to avoid seeing him. Ask if she can just come and “hang out with the guys”. Absence does wonders for getting over someone.

The final virgin? on the question list is Paul, aged 25. Lets see how his answers matched with the questions…

WHAT HAS BEING A D&D PLAYER TAUGHT YOU ABOUT DATING OR SEX?

Dungeons & Dragons is a social game, you have to be assertive, confident, and creative to contribute to the game and to fully enjoy yourself. So, like D&D, on the dating scene you can’t be a passive observer. You have to be the knight, a bit aggressive, and deliver the dragon.

WHAT’S THE BEST WAY TO PICK UP A D&D PLAYER?

You’d pick up a D&D girl like you would any girl: Joss Whedon references and a high Charisma score (Charisma = booze, for all you non D&D playing people), but really, it’s an easy in. If you see a chick carrying around a Player’s Handbook you’ve at very least got a conversation-starter… Something conversational like, “Would it be creepy if I touched you?”

DOES THE COUPLE THAT PLAY D&D TOGETHER, STAY TOGETHER?

Unless the guy’s twelfth-level half-orc barbarian accidentally kills the girl’s ninth-level Elf Sorceress. Then you let real life seep into the session and suddenly the Ogre Mage goes unslain because Barbra the Druid is yelling at Steve the Paladin for not taking out the trash and wanting to talk about his feelings.

MY GIRLFRIEND AND I HAVE THINKING ABOUT ROLE-PLAYING TO SPICE THINGS UP. IS THIS A GOOD IDEA?

Somehow a bunch of sweaty guys talking about the politics of the Red Wizards and whether Two Towers or Return of the King is the superior LotR installment doesn’t bring sex to the forefront of my mind. Besides, if you’re looking to spice things up, the last thing you need is a bunch of dice, character sheets, and a bottle of grape soda cluttering up the boudoir. Okay, who really drinks the purple stuff? Doesn’t this nerd know it’s all about the Sunny D?

I’M SORT OF EMBARRASSED TO HAVE MY PARENTS MEET MY CURRENT GIRLFRIEND. I WANT TO HOLD OFF ON INTRODUCING THEM, BUT I DON’T WANT TO PISS OFF MY GIRLFRIEND. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Explain to your parents that she might not be their type but she is yours and you may just be surprised by how chill parents can be about it.

I’VE BEEN SEEING THIS GUY FOR ABOUT TWO MONTHS. HE’S PERFECT, EXCEPT THE SEX IS AWFUL. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

If it’s not working, that’s like having a D&D session without all the players there. It just doesn’t work the way it should. Work together at it. Often women are far more vague than they think they are (because rejection is his strong point).

I THINK I MIGHT BE IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND’S GIRLFRIEND. HOW THE HELL DO I DEAL WITH THIS?

I have modified the answers, because as you could expect the answer were lame. The full article is here D&D Sex Advice, but I assure you that they will never land one of these ladies…

Izabel Goulart The Angel

Heidi Klum

Popularity: 60%

The Home Depot is a proud sponsor of the United States Armed Forces, the Olympics, and even NASCAR. Did you know that they were recognized by G.I. Jobs Magazine as the No. 2 Employer for Military Personnel according to their website. They even tout that they were recognized for its outstanding support of the men and women in the armed services by the Military Officers Association of America, and the United Services Organization (USO).

Now we know that’s not the reason why I’m writing about the Home Depot at all. Let’s take a trip down to Florida and meet Trevor Keezer, 20. He is was a hard working young man for the Home Depot for over 19 months, that is until a pin he was wearing got him fired.

Now it wasn’t an evil pin or a pin that made fun of your kid or kids. It was a simple pin that had the American flag on it with a line from the Pledge of Allegiance. It said, “One nation Under God, Indivisible,” nothing more and nothing less. He has worn the same pin for the last 19 months and it wasn’t a problem.

Keezer sees the pin as his way of supporting the Military troops overseas, and his older brother who is going to be heading back to Iraq come December.

Now he may have started to cross a line when he began to bring his Bible to work, but if he read it on his own time, it’s not an issue. A month a manager finally approached him about the pin he wore and told him to remove it or be sent home. Naturally he refused and they sent him home for 6 days without pay, and then they fired him.

Craig Fishel, talking head for the Home Depot of course couldn’t comment on specifics, but said that, “The company’s dress code policy states that we do not allow noncompany buttons, regardless of their message or content.”

Then he added the history of Home Depot and their history of supporting the military and they offered company buttons that its employees could wear. Keezer said, “I was cashier of the month and I’ve won six ‘Homer’ awards — that’s the highest award you can get at Home Depot.”

When we will finally draw a line that enough of ‘softness’ or the best way I have heard it was, “The Wussification of America,” has gone long enough and let people by themselves?

Sex Ed Merit Badge, Not In My Scouting Days

Home on the range in Fort Worth, where a volunteer mom is accused of having sex with a teen-aged Boy Scout. Courtney Sheward was charged with sexually assaulting a 16-year-old scout in the troop she oversees.

She likes to help get merit badges

Sgt. Chad Mahaffey said, “It was through her involvement as a volunteer parent that she met the 16-year-old male victim and a relationship began. As a result of the relationship, they had nonforcible sex.”

She was removed from her position on the local troop committee and helping plan activities once the scouts learned of the allegations.

Tired Of Drunks, Shock The Piss Out of Them….Literally

Meet John O’Connor, 46, who was tired of drunken revellers sing, dancing, and urinating against his store front.

He has decided that he will combat this tiring war against the drunk party-goers, by hooking up an electric current on the pavement outside of his music shop. He states that people should sip up of face the electrifying consequences of their actions.

“If anybody persists and continues with the anti-social behavior they’ll get a shock, they’ll know all about it. The wires are on the ground where I’m greeted every Monday morning with pools of their urine, mounds of their feces. You can see it (wires), it’s pretty obvious what’s there. There are signs everywhere,” O’Connor said.

Links:
Home Depot WTF
There maybe Sex on Your Scouting Trip
Shocking the System

Popularity: 1%