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Kansas City, Mo., is looking at letting hunters open fire in city limits. Some city parks are being overrun by Deer, and it works out to be cheaper to let hunters take care of the deers, rather than paying someone to trap it and let if free in the wild.

No word yet from PETA, but I’m sure they will freak out and snatch the deers themselves. Hopefully they don’t snag them, kill them and leave them in a dumpster behind a strip mall. If they were offended by Obama eliminating a fly, I can’t wait for the fire works…

Real Life Mario Kart

Welcome to Olympia, Washington, home of the “Bump & Go Posse.” This group of outlaws purposely ram into other drivers for fun, according to Jim Chamberlain of Thurston County Sheriff’s Office.

Met Mario Kart wanna be Gil Contreras, who was arrested on Tuesday for ramming unsuspecting players in Tumwater, Lacey, and Olympia. Wondertard even decided that getting the police involved was a good idea. Two people involved in his tard-a-thon were taken to a hospital for treatment.

Contreras, 45, was intoxicated when he was arrested. Police chased Contreras, after he allegedly hit the previous vehicles. Contreras rammed a police cruiser, so the police returned the favor and spun out Contreras.

Contreras, has been arrested on a charge of hit-and-run in the past and is on a deferred prosecution for hitting a driver in Pierce County in 2005. He also has a 1993 conviction for drunk driving. He’s being held in jail on $100,000 bail.

The Revenge of Michael J Fox

Welcome to the majestic streets of Fairbanks, Alaska. The home of Eskimos, Mooses, and the body of Roman Retynski.

Retynski, 34, was found near the shoulder of Mile 36 on Chena Hot Springs Road. He was a simple man that enjoyed the freedom found riding carefree on the hoods of speeding vehicles. He died from an apparent “Car Surfing” accident according to Alaska State Troopers.

A woman who was with Retynski, told his family that she had “lost” him the night before. They were headed to the family cabin in Chena Hot Springs. He climbed on the hood of the truck and then had the truck speed up to 60 or 70 miles an hour. The woman looked for his body, but was unable to find it and contacted Retynski’s brother.

News of Retynski’s death was not entirely unexpected. His mother called him, “the daredevil of the family.” Car surfing was popularized in movies such as “Teen Wolf” and “Death Proof.” Between 1990 and August of 2008, 58 people have died from car surfing accidents, according to the Federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Porn Star Bus Driver… You’re Fired!

Meet Audrey, 24 and the current reigning “Miss Nude Belgium 2009,” who passed all her driving tests following a six week intensive course in the city Liege last month. She’s a qualified bus driver and is now looking at the unemployment line, because it slipped out that she is a well known porn star (she is?)…

The TEC called her back into the office of the bus company to explain a series of interesting pictures. She told the company, “‘They were photos taken from my erotic performances and from my web site.”

The director of human resources (aka ziggy piggy), asked her to choose from her erotic career and her new career on the buses. He went on to tell her, she wouldn’t be able to take part in any “nocturnal” activities, while working as a bus driver. Ziggy Piggy demanded that she sign a form pledging that she wouldn’t take any more nude pictures.

Audrey said, “I enjoy my erotic work, but the contracts are not worth very much. Although this work is a passion, I need to have a job which pays the bills. I’d always wanted to be a bus driver as I’m very sociable. I like the contact with people and I don’t see why an erotic career is incompatible with my day job.”

Carine Zanella, spokesperson for TEC, said their treatment of Audrey was nothing to do with morality (Right and I own the London bridge!). She said, “We are solely interested in security for our drivers and customers. We don’t wish to see a member of our staff finishing a show in the middle of the night and then picking up a bus at six in the morning.”

Links:
He’s A Winner
Teen Wolf Kills Again
No bus driving celebrities

Popularity: 40% [?]

Let me introduce you to Dustin Carr, 28, of Sycamore Township. He is a suspect in a police pursuit that injured an office, because he “thought it would be fun.” Unlucky for police, he is on the run again, after escaping custody earlier today.

The original pursuit started when Office Doug Boland, 20, of Deer Park pulled over Carr’s vehicle for suspicion of driving under the influence. While Boland was conducting a field sobriety test, that is when Carr allegedly took off on foot.

Boland chased down Carr and after a short while tackled him to the ground. During a scuffle, both men received minor injuries with Boland injuring his knee and Carr hitting his head and injuring his eye. Both men were taken to the hospital and Boland was treated and released.

Police returned to the hospital to take him straight to jail, but somehow after being treated he was able sneak out undiscovered. Police are going to charge him with OVI, Resisting arrest, and fleeing. He we be facing additional charges once the police catch Carr.

Sex Offender Isle

Traveling to Miami, Florida where there is a growing community of sex offenders that are “being forced” to live as outcasts because of Miami’s strict sexual predator laws. The members say that the city ordinance prohibiting sex offenders from living within 2,500 feet of where children congregate. They say that there is nowhere to live except the airport, under causeways, or the Everglades.

Osvaldo Castillo, 29, was convicted of molesting a 6 yr old child says, “People call this place a camp, like it’s pretty and fun. It’s not fun at all. We are living like animals and trying to make the best of it.”

Carlos Martin, was convicted of exposing himself to a 15 yr old, said “Now, we gotta be our own city and every attempt we’ve made to fight this has failed, so we have to make this work.”

Back in 2006, there were seven convicted rapists and child molesters registered in Miami-Dade County living in tents and shacks under the Julia Tuttle Causeway. Now officials say that there are over 65 men and one women in the colony.

Everyday Superhero

A Mariemont police officer didn’t have time to think, when a Land Rover headed towards him and a pack of Flying Pig marathon runners on Sunday morning. Keith Lewis, 37, jumped on the hood and then swung himself in to the passenger side of the vehicle. Another bystander pulled the emergency brake and Lewis shifted the car. The woman driving the Land Rover was having a seizure at the time of the incident.

Lewis has been a member of the Mariemont police department for the last four years. He said, “It was instincts, just pure instincts. I didn’t have time to think about what was happening. My main thing was trying to stop the car before it went right through the crowd. It was just the adrenaline and trying to put in practice everything I’ve learned.”

Lewis was just 3 hours into an extra traffic detail when the Lan Rover came barreling down upon him at 10 miles per hour. The SUV was stopped just a one hundred feet from the intersection. Mariemont Police Chief Richard Hines said, “Lewis happened to be in the right place at the right time and did everything right. It could have been a very different outcome. But it’s just one of those things where we have a happy ending, and I’m glad.”

Google Going Green

Mountain View, California is the headquarters for Google, Inc. brought in a herd of goats to cut the grass, rather than running lawnmowers. Google went on to say that the goats weren’t employees, but felt they were “entitled to a free organic lunch.”

Google said that it wanted to make a “low-carbon” approach with the goats. They even said that cost of the goats was equal to using lawnmowers, but the goats were “a lot cuter to watch.” Google is not the only company to use goats to graze the ground, Yahoo the other search engine also uses cute goats.

Amazingly PETA had to make a comment about the Youtube video clip saying that they had no problem with letting the goats eat some grass, but are concerned with how they were transported and whether they had enough shelter and water.

Links:

Sex Offender Isle

Man Stops Runaway Car

Google Goats

Popularity: 50% [?]

Louisiana was trying to help another company keep open the old Pilgrim Pride chicken processing plant. P.E.T.A. opted for a different solution. They tried to get the state to open a “Chicken Empathy Museum.” They wanted the museum to include a playground for kids, that would include cage-like  playscapes.

“I guess the whole thing would be a chicken wing, right?” said Ashley Byrne, campaign coordinator for PETA. “Actually, we did plan to serve faux chickens, vegetarian chickens made from healthy plant protein in the museum restaurant, along with an array of other tasty vegetarian food. As a gift from PETA, part of our proposal was that each visitor 12 years old and younger would have a plush chicken toy with a tag reading, ‘I am not a nugget,’ ” Ashley said.

60 Ft. Do It Yourself Dong

Andy and Clare McInnes thought that April Fools came early when a news company contacted them about a phallic design that graced their newly finished roof. They were delighted that the building crew had just finished with the flat roof on their £1million house.

Their son Rory, 18, decided that he would make his house stand out after watching a documentary on Google Earth. For over the next year only Rory knew of the stand out design, until a helicopter pilot spotted it and hovered over the house so passengers could take photos of it.

Andy said, “It’s an April Fool’s joke, right? There’s no way there’s a 60ft phallus on top of my house.”

When Andy pressed on the kids trying to figure out which made the design, Rory was in Brazil as part of a gap years travel, he could be heard saying, “Oh, you’ve found it then!” (laughing the entire time).

Skateboard Ramp + Dispute = Fire

Welcome to Orange City, Florida. Lewis Smith, 45, repeatedly asked neighborhood man to remove a skateboard ramp from the road near his home. Lewis, neighbors, and the man that build the ramps were found by Orange City Deputies arguing over the ramps.

Sheriff’s spokesman Gary Davidson said that Lewis was arrested and charged with criminal mischief on Sunday, because Lewis decided that the best way to resolve the ramp issue was to set them on fire. He was released from the Volusia County Branch Jail on his own recognizance.

Paying taxes on sex?

Meet Democratic Senator Bob Coffin from Las Vegas. He has proposed to have a new tax added onto prostitution. He states that the new tax would raise around $2 million a year for the state.

He wants the patrons of both legal and illegal prostitutes to pay an extra $5 per sessionunder the new bill he created. A lobbyist for the state’s legal brothels volunteered to be taxed, in an effort to guarantee their survival.

“I think we will support it,” George Flint, a spokesman for the state’s brothel industry, said of Coffin’s bill. In rural counties of Nevada there are eight major brothels and 17 smaller houses of prostitution, said Flint.

When Coffin was asked about how the state would collect the tax from the independent street walkers, he replied that when the business tax was first implemented, it wasn’t collected from all those required to pay it.

Popularity: 50% [?]