StellarZoom

I guess the earthquakes in Haiti and Chile have drove people mad. I was going to write about the parents in Korea who let their kid starve to death over a virtual child, but I figure that will be talked about enough. So we will keep this post in the wonderment that is the United States of Crazy.

Quo Nightclub Co-Owner Gary Malhotra decided to corner

Nicole Slama in a storage closet and “forced” her into letting him use her body as a coke table. He couldn’t convince her to let him use her ass, but her should would be acceptable.

Slama has now filed a sexual harassment suit for a low; low cost of $3.5 million in damages. She was originally working at Applebees, but the tips weren’t enough for her. She had a family friend helped her land her job as a cocktail waitress at club Quo. Slama said that Malhorta had offered her coke on a couple different occasions (which is a sign of a bad place to be working in my opinion), but on December 6th, he just wouldn’t take NO for an answer.

Malhorta being the gentleman that he is, pushed her into a closet and demanded to do a line off her crack. He told Nicole, “I want to sniff it off your

ass. You have a great ass,” while grabbing her ass. After she declined, he turned up the classy charm with, “OK, off your breast then,” of course while he was copping a feel.

Slama declined again and told him “I really don’t want to. I want to leave right now. I want to go right now!” Malhorta wasn’t to be denied and said, “Off your shoulder then. You have to let me, ’cause you work for me.”

After he got done snorting his coke and licking her shoulder and neck, she slipped out of the club and reported it to the cops. Malhorta was convicted on charges of sex abuse, forcible touching and harassment.

Links:
Asstastic Coke

Popularity: unranked [?]

Drinking and Breast Feeding? Thats a Felony.

Meet Stacey Anvarinia, 26, from Grand Forks, North Dakota. She has pleaded guilty to Child Neglect charges on Wednesday.

It all went down on April 13th, when police officers were responding to a domestic disturbance, when they found an intoxicated Anvarinia breast feeding her six week old baby. She could be facing up to five years in prison for the felony charge.

Judge Sonja Clapp says that Anvarinia will not have to register as an offender against children. Health Officials say that alcohol consumed by breast feeding mothers can be absorbed into the infant’s system.

This Kid’s Got Sauce

Welcome to New York, where Gladimir Occelin, 32, got his car stolen while making a delivery run.

Traphilu Bowen, 16, of Brooklyn swiped the 1994 Toyota Camry, because Occelin left it with the keys in it and engine running. Bowen allegedly drove around the block a few times and gave Occlein the bird.

Occelin with his quick instinct called 911 and actually accompanied police on a search for Bowen. Police found him nearby and gave them a brief run for their money. Yet, he was caught and charged with a various assortment of charges.

That Porn Will Teach Them

The police in Phoenixville, Pa., were called to a suburban home, because a man was tired of kids playing in his cul-de-sac, so he decided to scare them off.

Michael Buck, 27, now faces felony obscenity and 2 misdemeanors for blaring a “pornographic” soundtrack that could be heard over a block and a half away. Detective Tom Goggin has said that Buck has filed a complaint on the neighborhood kids, but there is nothing criminal with kids playing outside.

Now I checked and its really hard to find a good pornographic soundtrack. It’s no wonder why the neighbors were irate, he should have just used the soundtrack to School House Rock, those kids would have run away since he would be trying to educated them.

Links:
Drunken Breast Feeding
Pizza Pie Capper
Porn Scores

Popularity: unranked [?]

Timberlake Revives SNL

Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg were able to recapture gold when they reunited with a sequel to the online hit, “Dick in A Box” video on Saturday Night. “Mother Lovers,” starts with the duo leaving a jail with their boxes in hand, when they come up with a solution to a problem.

This is Justin Timberlake’s 3rd time hosting SNL and some people are comparing him to Alec Baldwin, who continually appeared on the show and has had some of the best skits on Saturday Night Live. The new SNL digital short even included Susan Sarandon and Patricia Clarkson playing the Mother’s that needed some loving.

Pipe Bomb Fail

A Bus Driver in Hempstead, New York, found two pipe bombs in her driveway on Friday and decided to place two pipe bombs in her empty school bus and attempt to deliver them to the police, rather than waiting for experts to arrive on site.

An unnamed source for the New York Times said that the woman wrapped the possible explosives in a blanket and tossed them into the bus and started driving to the nearest police station. While on the way she contact authorities to explain the situation, when she was told to pull over and wait for the Bomb Squad. Luckily the Bomb squad was able to take care of the bombs without incident, but her employer was upset with the woman’s actions.

“It’s unacceptable in every possible way,” an Atlantic Express spokeswoman said. “She will not be driving for this company again.”

Super Soldiers

Government troops were sodomizing local pygmies in the eastern Democratic Republic of Congo back in March. The troops told regional rights groups that they believed they would gain supernatural powers for the acts.

The Human Rights League of the Great Lakes said, “Some soldiers from the 85th Brigade sodomized three male pygmies to gain supernatural powers and protection in Kisa village in Walikale territory. The village chief was stripped and (sodomized) in the presence of his wife, his children and daughter in-law. The children in turn were stripped and raped in front of their father.”

The Human Rights league also went on to say that armed groups in the region would also abuse the pygmies. Unfortunately, there are no documented effects of what Supernatural powers are given by pygmies. I think they can cure the swine flu.

Soldier Told He’d Never Walk, Finishes Marathon

Meet Phil Packer, 36, a British soldier that was told last year that he would never walk again. Packer proved everyone wrong by completing the London Marathon 13 days after it started, while doing it on crutches. Packer’s doctor would only allow the hero to walk 2 miles a day, but he competed to raise money for charity.

The finish line was surrounded by cheering soldiers and supporters, as an emotional Packer crossed the line. He defied the medical opinions after his lower spine was severely injured due to a rocket attack on his base in Basra, Iraq. He remained in the hospital for four months, when he decided to complete three challenges to attempt to raise $1.5 million for Help for Heroes.

The three challenges were to row the English Channel, complete the London Marathon, and climb El Captain. In February, he completed the first challenge. Next was the marathon, which he knocked out of the park. The 3rd is hoped to be completed next month in California. Packer remains just short of his goal of the $1.5 million by a mere $558,000 and still accepting donations.

Packer said, “It’s looking after our injured servicemen. There’s a lot of people that can’t do this, so this is for them.” Earlier in the week he said with an interview with CNN, “I wanted to be able to move on in life. I wanted to do something for other personnel who had been wounded. I don’t want to be helped. I want to help other people. Not that I’m not grateful, but… you know… I really want to be able to help people.”

British Prince Charles is a among people who have expressed support for Packer. On Packer’s website, Prince Charles wrote, “You are, if I may say so, a credit to the Royal Military Police and to the British Army as a whole.”

Links:

Mother Lover’s

Bomb Disposal Fail

Super Soldier Serum

War Veteran turns Superhero

Popularity: 20% [?]

The Walt Disney Company has reached a deal on today to become a partner with the popular video website HULU. Disney had been in talks with NBC Universal and News Corp for some time prior to reaching the deal today. Disney is the only other media company to join as an equity partner. They also will gain 3 seats on the Hulu board.

Hulu will add full length episodes of the following TV shows: “Lost,” “Grey’s Anatomy,” and “Desperate Housewives.”

Sex in the Queen’s Yard

A couple in their early 30′s decided that the best place to have sex was on a private grass bank at the Queen’s Palace, while Her Majesty was in the residence.

Unfortunately, the couple were watch by crowds of tourists, due to being in full view of the Castle’s Garter Tower, near by hotels, pubs, and local shops. Some Japanese tourist were able to film the couple for over 20 minutes before they were arrested by Royal Protection Squad Officers.

Mark Robinson, 44, witnessed the event and said, “One window from the guardroom opened up and when a soldier saw what was going on he told his mates – and lots of windows opened. The couple did not care who was looking and just kept going as if they were in their own bedroom. They even ignored the ‘Please Keep Off The Grass’ signs. A few soldiers were cheering them on from above & plenty of young people did the same from the roadside. There were camera flashes going off and people videoing.”

Manhattan Building Collapses

A 5 story building collapsed on a lower Manhattan construction site on today. Fire officials say that no one was inside when it came down.

The collapse happened early in the morning, just before the normal busy flow of pedestrians and traffic. The front half of the building looks like it was sheared off and the interior floors are visible from the street. A car on the street was covered in rubble.

Lewis Largent lives directly across the street said, the bricks started trickling off the top corner. I was thinking was it raining or something. Then within 10 seconds it just all came down like a wave or an avalanche.”

Lisa Schiller has lived in the neighborhood for 20 years and said, “We’re a little freaked out about it.” She saw the rubble when she came out for her morning walk.

Squidling Blackened and Bitten

Octomom Nadya Suleman was question yesterday by local police and child welfare officials, due to her 4 year old Autistic son showing up to school with a black eye and bite marks. Orange County’s Child and Family Services and 2 La Habra Police detectives visited the Suleman’s home, but there were no indications of any actions being taken on the mother of 14.

Police have said that they have made several visits to the Suleman’s home in the last year to respond to complaints about lost, trapped, or poorly cared for children. Orange County Social Services Spokeswoman TerryLynn Fisher said that her department can’t confirm or deny any welfare investigation because of confidentiality laws.

Suleman’s attorney says that the boy looks like the black eye came from a fall and the bite marks may have come from one of her 2 year old twins.

He told the Associated Press, “Poor Aidan, he falls a lot.He jumps at noises and things and bumps furniture and walls. I know CPS takes is very seriously. Nadya’s best option at this point is finding the young culprit and issuing a punishment. Nadya says she grounds them, takes their favorite toys away – the typical things that a mother will do. Aiden is a special case”

Links:

Follw me on Twitter

Disney Buys In

Royal Sex

Manhattan Meltdown

Octomom Abuse?

Popularity: unranked [?]