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Bare Ass-ed Busted

Welcome to Iowa, where posting pictures of yourself on Myspace and Facebook, just may lead you to the unemployment line. Abigail Keller, 27, an Altoona reserve police officer was just another in a string of people fired for “questionable” material posted online.

Keller resigned from her position in February after a local business man gave another police officer print outs from her MySpace page. She was in her fifth month of service for the Altoona department after spending three years as a volunteer officer, when the photos surfaced.

Police Chief John Gray said the photograph’s on Keller’s page depicted her in a bar surround by male and female patrons. He said, “In one photograph, she is displaying her naked buttocks or mooning the person who is taking the picture. In another, she is performing simulated sex acts on both males and females.”

Administrative Law Judge Debra L. Wise asked Keller whether she had posted such a photo to her site during a hearing for her unemployment benefits. Keller said that she didn’t post a photo of her with her “buttocks” exposed, but pictures of her “making kissy faces.”

Gray of course disputed the claim of the “naked buttocks” photo’s, because he happens to have a copy of the photo. Gray actually said, “You’re pulling your pants down. Your naked buttocks are showing.”

Keller said that the pictures were posted back in 2005, months before she was a volunteer officer and she thought the site was restricted. Gray was concerned due to other photographs with Keller in Police uniform and that these other photos would be linked to the Altoona department.

Judge Wise wrote in her ruling of the unemployment benefits, “In this technology age, she used poor judgment when she posted these pictures in albums on her social-network pages and naively believed no one but close personal friends could access these pictures.”

Overdue Library Book… Off To Jail

Killeen, Texas is the home of fugitive Victoria Rogers, 21. She has been wanted by the authorities since January 2009 and a warrant for her arrest has been issued.

She says that she wishes she could change the past, but out of fear of being hauled in on the outstanding warrant, she refuses to drive or apply for a job. If she only had returned that darn local library book to the Killeen Public Library, there wouldn’t be an issue.

Rogers said, “I apologized and said I didn’t mean to. I was floored, I couldn’t believe a warrant for a library book.”

Her warrant was issued as a class C misdemeanor. She say that she offered to pay for the book, but the city says it’s too late. The library has records of multiple messages being mailed out and then turned the case over to the city. Her penalty for one over due book… A date in court and a $340 fine. That’s one expensive ass book!

In The Navy!

Welcome to the land down under, Australia. Home of awesome spots like the Sydney Opera House and The Great Barrier Reef, is now how to some sailor scandal.

The Defence Department is investigating claims of Australian sailors engaging in a money for sex competition. Local news station Channel Seven News aired claims that sailors from the HMAS Success ran a contest of who could sleep with the most female crew members.

The sailors kept records in a book they called, “The Ledger.” They assigned a cash value on each of the individual female crew members. They even went as far as too step up the game by making the location where the sex took place as part of the game. Pool Tables and lesbians weren’t off limits, they were encouraged.

“The matter concerning sailors who were returned to Australia from HMAS Success in May 2009 remains under investigation, so the veracity of any allegations has yet to be confirmed,” Defence said in a statement to the Seven Network.

“The individuals were removed from the ship after an equity and diversity health check, which led to a formal inquiry being initiated. During the equity and diversity health check a number of concerns were raised by female crew members. These concerns are now subject to formal inquiry.”

Links:
Police Woman?
Arrest Her!
Sex Games: Navy

Popularity: 90% [?]

Stripper Spots Fakes

Lets all meet Michael Harris, 40, of New York. Harris decided to go traveling to peep-show parlor in Gotham City while carrying a load of counterfeit $10 bills. His night was going well until about 5 a.m., until an eagle eyed stripper spotted the fake bills and notified the manager.

Harris then tried to ditch the funny money and bolt from the establishment, but he was caught by the manager and held until police arrived on the scene. Investigators found some more of the fake cash in his boot. Police Investigators say that Harris entered the building with 28 counterfeit notes, which were made on a Ink Jet Printer.

Now the 3 time convict, Harris, was charged with 28 counts of criminal possession of a forged instrument (a felony), but was released after he posted $2500 in bail. His defense was the obvious excuse that he received the fake dough from a friend.

Now police haven’t released pictures of the fictitious bills, but I believed they look like:

Chinese Sex Park

Welcome to Chongqing in China, where a new theme park is scheduled to open soon. Love Land Theme Park, is aiming to address taboos and improve sex education, but some of the residents of Chongqing see it as vulgar.

Now with the parks giant revolving sign could be the reason, but who wouldn’t like a sign to be the scantly dressed lower half of the woman’s body? Maybe the red color of the thong covering the lower half is driving people to think that it’s inappropriate?

The Chinese Sex Park is based off another sex park in South Korea located in jeju. The park Manager Lu Xiaoqing, says that the park is due to open in October and will improve sex education and help adults enjoy a harmonious sex life.

Inside the park, people will be able to view naked human sculptures, giant mock ups  of genitals, an exhibition on the history of sex, and an exhibition of sexual practices in other countries. The Park is also going to be offering sex technique workshops and advice on anti-Aids measures.

Lu told the China Daily, “Sex is a taboo subject in China but people really need to have more access to information about it. We are building the park for the good of the public. I have found that the majority of people support my idea, but I have to pay attention and not make the park look vulgar and nasty.”

Hippies Return to Camping

With Summer approaching and the country knee-deep in recession and states looking at legalizing Marijuana to help with budget crisis, people are starting to scale back on their summer vacation plans. There is a new growth in travel industry, but not the expected cruises or theme parks. The Campgrounds are getting busy and reporting a surge in visitors who can’t or don’t want to spend the extra money on the hotel. Is it cheap or the reemergence of the typical family vacation?

With people changing their spending habits, its easy to see why some are forgoing the luxuries of full service hotels and expensive vacation trips, when nearby hippies are shelling out around $15 for a place that has access to electricity, toilets, and showers. The outdoors allows people to escape the daily news of businesses collapsing, people going homeless in droves, and rich people crying because they can make more money. Maybe the escape to the woods with a tent, good friends, food, and drinks is what people need.

Looking past the hippies, camprgrounds have surged during times when the economy was tanking or tough. Camping  has upgraded since the 60′s and the changes to campers have made staying out in campsites easier. Just plan where you are going and just try to avoide the hippies and the vacation is sure to be a hit.

So You Think You Can Dance?

Lets meet Cody Costantini, 14, of Feasterville, PA., who has been barred from attending a public school dance. Nechaminy school officials tell Costantini that rules will prohinit him from attending the “District Social.” Costantini is a Pennsylvania Cyber Charter School pupil and plans to attend Neshaminy High School next year, is not allowed to attend the end of year dance.

His denial is due to the fact he wasn’t enrolled in a public school this year. This reason is a technicallity of a District Policy. His great aunt Carol Steiner and representatives at the cyber charter school though that the law granted him the right to participate in the extracurricular activities in the home district, if the charter school doesn’t provide them.

Constantini said, “I’m annoyed because I wanted to see all my friends. I miss them. It’s kind of unfair, especially because I went there and I’m going back.” Constantini lives across the strewet from the Poquessing Middle School, which he attended in the past.

Steiner said, “I think it’s mean. I can understand their concerns like political issues around cyber kids taking money from suburban schools, or worried about troublemakers. It’s not open to the public, or other kids. They want to keep it close and neighborhood-oriented. But he’s from the neighborhood and the school. He didn’t leave on negative conditions.”

Links:
Stripper Spots Fakes
Chinese Sex Park
Camping Comeback
No Footloose

Popularity: unranked [?]

I like big people and finally realized that some of them have benefitted from being big. So while going through the process and refining, I come to realize that some perks to being a bigger person than the typical person.

They are lucky because nobody immediately sits next to them on the bus. I think the people that do are cannibals, attracted to the sweet scent for whatever snack they just ate. I wonder if cannibals prefer them, because they would have different flavors, like steak, cake, cupcakes and pies.

I think heaven will be full of the bigger people, because they are fluffy like the clouds. They also know that the other person they are with isn’t concerned about cheating, due to the fact big isn’t a hot commodity and this isn’t the 1700′s when big meant money.

Big people get the down side due to clothes. I mean big people in Hawaiian shirts; kind of have that look of a giant garden.  I wonder if the bees are attracted to them, because they look like a flower and smell like honey?

Popularity: unranked [?]

Monday arrives and leaves a bevy of news available to be read. One of the most shocking stories is that the Super Bowl performers used recorded tracks to sing. Apparently a week before the Super Bowl they recorded tracks and got the NFL’s approval. I’m curious to know who is really shocked by this news, because it is not like it hasn’t been done before. Today I’ll give you 3 wonderful stories from around the world.

Story 1: Cash 4 Gold sounds like a scam and now a former employee comes out with a lot of the “behind the scenes” information. They do offer a 100% money back guarantee, but there is a catch (of course). You have to contact them on or before the 10^th day your check is dated. If you want to know and how to save older people of making a mistake and getting scammed, just click on the link at the bottom.

Story 2: Well we are on the verge of destruction with some grim news coming out of IBM today. IBM is working on a massive computer system that will “manage” our countries nuclear arsenal. The code name for the project is “Sequoia,” because the name “Skynet” would send a massive tidal wave of panic down people’s spines. To read more on this amazing supercomputer, click the link below.

Story 3: This story was a tossup between Britney Spears and the purple pimp David B Johnson. Since I figured Britney will get covered by Perez Hilton, let me share a little on the “Purple Pimp.”

Mr. Johnson was charged for driving on a suspended license for the 13th time and was ordered to appear before Judge C. Donelly on the 23rd of January. Mr. Johnson appeared in his purple coat, purple shoes, and even a purple Fedora. He even drove his purple Cadillac to the courthouse. The judge warned him not to drive his car and sentenced him to 10 days in the clink. Now this popping purple player must have not heard the judge’s orders, because he was back in the court house 22 minutes later with the same judge. Unfortunately this time he was thrown into jail on $10,000 bail.

Links:

NY Times Super Bowl Tracks

Cash 4 Gold…here’s $20, go away

Conspiracy Theorists Unite

Come on Judge playa…I got to get my pimpin on

Popularity: unranked [?]

Oh happy Friday. The internet never fails to share the epic, odd, and fails of the interwebz. This maybe a multiple post Friday with all the stories that need light shined upon them. So let us jump right into the stories.

Story 1:

Edward Richardson killed his wife Sarah in her parents home back on May 12th of 2008. He was charged and found guilty for her murder. After he killed his wife, he attempted to take his own life. The Crown Prosecution says that, “Richardson became enraged when Sarah changed her marital status on Facebook to single and decided to go and see her as she was not responding to his messages.”

Story 2:

The wonderful company Chrysler just received $4 Billion in bailout cash from the US government, decided that the best way to spend this money is to advertise their product in the upcoming Terminator 4 movie. Rather than taking the money (that we are going to end up paying in taxes down the road), and investing in new technologies and design that will make it easier on the environment and the consumers wallets. Apparently, after having to cut 36% of its staff to its lowest level since 1934 wasn’t a sign of what direction to go with the money, but failing after the money squandered in a movie will hopefully be a wakeup call. Yet, they are going to try and apply for another 3 billion in bailout moneys provided by the government.

Links to Stories:

Man murders wife because online status “single”

Chryslers Wastes our money

Popularity: unranked [?]