I guess the earthquakes in Haiti and Chile have drove people mad. I was going to write about the parents in Korea who let their kid starve to death over a virtual child, but I figure that will be talked about enough. So we will keep this post in the wonderment that is the United States of Crazy.

Nicole Slama

Quo Nightclub Co-Owner Gary Malhotra decided to corner

Nicole Slama in a storage closet and “forced” her into letting him use her body as a coke table. He couldn’t convince her to let him use her ass, but her should would be acceptable.

Slama has now filed a sexual harassment suit for a low; low cost of $3.5 million in damages. She was originally working at Applebees, but the tips weren’t enough for her. She had a family friend helped her land her job as a cocktail waitress at club Quo. Slama said that Malhorta had offered her coke on a couple different occasions (which is a sign of a bad place to be working in my opinion), but on December 6th, he just wouldn’t take NO for an answer.

Nicole Slama

Malhorta being the gentleman that he is, pushed her into a closet and demanded to do a line off her crack. He told Nicole, “I want to sniff it off your

ass. You have a great ass,” while grabbing her ass. After she declined, he turned up the classy charm with, “OK, off your breast then,” of course while he was copping a feel.

Slama declined again and told him “I really don’t want to. I want to leave right now. I want to go right now!” Malhorta wasn’t to be denied and said, “Off your shoulder then. You have to let me, ’cause you work for me.”

After he got done snorting his coke and licking her shoulder and neck, she slipped out of the club and reported it to the cops. Malhorta was convicted on charges of sex abuse, forcible touching and harassment.

Links:
Asstastic Coke

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Since its the weekend and so much is going on with conventions and shows in downtown Phoenix, I thought I’d share some stories that might make you stray from stupidity. If not, please do it responsibly and make sure I get to hear about it. Since its Arizona and we have a superbly strict D.U.I. Policies. I thought I’d share some wonderful stories from around the web. As always, the links are ath the bottom of the post.

I Walked a straight line I swear!!

Greenville Middle Academy in Greenville, South Carolina had to call the police about a minor car accident that happened in a pickup line in their “pick up” line. Police arrested Marcia Peyrouse Gaines, 49, when they asked for her license and registration, she fumbled around and seemed unsteady on her feet.

Greenville Police Cpl. Jason Rampey said, “In this case, when she went to present her identification — her driver’s license — to the officer, she presented a credit card. That is one observation he made which led him to believe that something is not right here and he looked into the matter further.”

After the police man detected a scent of alcohol they conducted a field sobriety test, which of course Marcia failed. Her results from a blood-alcohol test was nearly 3 times the legal limit.

Rampey said, “I think one of the things that is so egregious about this is that there were kids present and so many other people present in this line.”

He said that the lesson is a simple one: “People use common sense. If you’re going to drink, don’t drive.”

OMG Run… It’s a Tank!!!

The town of Bergen got a little scare this Friday morning, when a British soldier decided to steal 2 small tanks from his northern German base.

“He had a blood alcohol content of 1 promille – past the legal driving limit in Germany – and decided he’d like to take one of the vehicles out of camp,” British Army spokesperson Helga Heine said. “At some point he wrecked the tank, got out, went back and got another one and drove it in the same direction, hitting a tree before he was stopped.”

The young soldier of 18 years old, stole 2 light tanks. Luckily before he reached the town of Bergen, British MP’s were able to stop him, as he almost rammed an oncoming car and running a patrol car off the road. He lost control of the tank and slammed into a 75 centimetre thick tree.

“We all got the giggles when we read this,” Heine told The Local. “But stealing a vehicle is a serious offense it will be dealt with accordingly.”

Speeding, that was the wind…I must go to a meeting now.

2nd Grade teacher Emilee Crow found herself sitting in handcuffs becuase she took it too far after being stopped in a Watauga School zone. She has since been placed on administrative leave due to this incident.

Police said Crow threw a temper tantrum during the ten-minute stop, which was recorded by police. She was caught speeding in a school zone, and decided to say:

“I’m a freaking teacher, and usually, usually you guys have some idea about that,” within minutes, the officer said Crow became more belligerent by throwing her driver’s license and insurance card onto the street. She decided then that it was time for her to leave.

“You’re setting a wonderful example right here in a school zone being a teacher cussing at me and yelling and screaming at me,” said the police officer (heard from his video footage). Crow fishtailed her car and almost hit the officer, which is when he decided to make the arrest. “You’re not going to make an example out of me in front of every [expletive] parent in school,” she said back to the officer.

My thought on this…is no need to make an example out of you…You’ve done a great job making yourself look like an ass.

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