All In The Family

Welcome to the Wonderful area known as Greeley, Colorado. A family decided that they would all attack a former girlfriends of their eldest son, took a turn for the bizarre. The hair pulling and fisticuffs antics turned into a 10 hour standoff with Greeley Police on Monday.

Christina Vanderclip had driven by the home of her former boyfriend, apparently described by some as her “common-law” husband Travis Schneller. She noticed him at the house and decided to stop to talk to him. Travis, 24, decided this was the good time to hit her and pull her hair.

Luckily his mother, Kimberly Schneller, 47, used logic and decided to jump on the back of Vanderclip and also joined in the hair pulling. Not wanting to be left out of the one sided attack, Michael Scheller, 18, and Robert Schneller, 47, decided to help attack the woman. Robert attempted to choke the woman and utilize a stun gun on her, but somehow failed. Finally, Vanderclip’s friend was able to help pull her away from the family full of anger and hate. As they drove away from the home they called the police.

This is when the family decides to make it an interesting day for local police. The Greeley police had to get a district judge to sign a arrest warrant, because they refused to open the door for police. This only took six hours from the time of the standoff. The entire family was arrested, but its never that easy.

While the police were in the home, they found a marijuana plant and some related paraphernalia. So the police actually had to go and get another warrant to seize the plant. That only took another 2 hours to get it signed.

Someone Should Drag This Ass

Welcome to the Windy City. Meet super-douche Larry Chambers, 62, who was charged with animal cruelty. He decided that it was smart to drag his 8 month old puppy behind his car, as he drove down Western Avenue.

Luckily, an off-duty Chicago police officer saw the dog being dragged and had the man arrested on June 1st. Wondertard Chambers, told the police that he was angry at the dog and decided to tie it to the back of the car. Now to leave the charges at such a small level, wouldn’t get you the super-douche title, but deciding to resist arrest and punch the off-duty officer in the chest… Now that’s a start. The dog survived the horrific ordeal, but unfortunately was skinned over much of its body.

For those in the Chicago area, Chambers is scheduled to appear in court on July 22nd at 1:30 PM. Maybe someone can convince a judge to tie him to a back of a car and drag his ass down a road.

This Is Madness

Spartan Men and Women were warriors, but this is a little weird even for them. We travel to Sparta, Michigan, where a local man is under arrest for breaking into a neighbor’s home while wearing boxer shorts and a woman’s bra.

This nightmare actually happened on Elm Street around 5:30 am in Sparta. Jacob Fast, 20, wasn’t fast enough, when Lisa Collins, found him going through her car. As she dialed 911, she startled the man, who promptly sauntered back to his house… 2 doors down the street.

Lisa Collins says, “I was actually kind of worried. He was in a bra and boxers and he’s going through my car. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know who he was. I was panicked, I was screaming.”

When officers arrived, they went to Fast’s home and he refused to come out. Police eventually got a search warrant and went into the home. He was not arrested wearing the bra, but it was inside his home. Fast told police that he had been outside all night and was intoxicated.

Shrooms Did It

We will end our trip in Manatee County, Florida. Meet Jeffery Moore, 19, who was arrested after being found in a cow pasture collecting shrooms. The problem was the fact the Moore was wielding a crossbow at the time.

Moore and 3 others were spotted by a County Sheriff’s helicopter in the cow pasture, but I think the shrooms really messed with his brains. He was seen laying face down in an attempt to hide from the helicopter spotlight.
Police quickly found Moore holding a small crossbow and a slingshot.

Moore told the police that he was in the pasture collecting mushrooms for drug consumption, but the weapons were only for protection from the cows…and the little green guy sitting on my shoulder.

Links

Family Circus
Sweating like a Dog
Tonight We Dine At Arby’s
What Green Man? That’s a Cow

Popularity: unranked

Wedding Day Anarchy

Meet the groom John Lucas, 53, his brother, Walter Lucas, 52, and his nephew Samuel Lucas, 19. All three were arrested at John’s wedding for disturbing the peace. It all started because Samuel was in violation of the dress code at the reception hall.

The incident took place on Friday evening at the Crystal Plantation, when the officer working the wedding detail asked Samuel to pull up his pants to comply with the dress code. Samuel denied that his pants were low or even his underwear showing, but said that his belt was loose.

Now the reception hall has everyone in the wedding sign an agreement that they will comply with the dress code. Leonard Dazet the owner of the hall said, “All the kid had to do was pull up his pants.”

This is when all the pieces fell into place for an unforgettable wedding. Walter decided to argue with the officer and told him to mind his own business. The officer was in the process of escorting out Walter, when he started to resist.

The groom, John, grabbed the officer’s arm and tried to position himself between the officer and Walter. John even attempted to close the police car’s trunk to prevent the officer from getting his handcuffs and yelling at the officer to free his brother.

By this time, the officer had called for back up, while Samuel stood outside the business patio screaming and yelling at the officer. All three were arrested for disturbing the peace. John also got charged with obstruction of police, while his brother Walter was charged with resisting an officer. This was only the 2nd time in 21 years that a groom has been arrested at the Crystal Plantation.

Dazet said, “You have in-laws and you have outlaws.”

Shoplifter Uses Baby Defense Style

Welcome to Memphis, TN, where police are searching for a shoplifting suspect who used a baby against a security guard during an escape on Wednesday. The incident took place at a Wal-Mart early Wednesday morning.

Police say that the woman was caught shoplifting on camera. When fleeing, the woman hurled her 2 month old nephew at the security. She fled from the store into a blue Ford Escort, leaving the baby and her mother at the Wal-Mart. Officials say that the baby will be okay and the security guard weren’t seriously injured.

Stray Bullet Shatters Toilet

Welcome to Boras, Sweden, where a District Court was deciding the fate of a 37 year old hunter from Ulricehamn. The man was hunting geese around Tolken Lake when he fired a shot at a bird and missed. The problem is that the missed shot traveled over a mile and shattered a couples toilet seat.

Luckily for the hunter, the District Court has cleared him of the charges. The bullet went in between a couple that were entertaining a guest outside of their Hokerum village cottage.

Links:

Memorable Wedding
She Hurls Baby
Toilet Seat Shooting

Popularity: 50%

The Walt Disney Company has reached a deal on today to become a partner with the popular video website HULU. Disney had been in talks with NBC Universal and News Corp for some time prior to reaching the deal today. Disney is the only other media company to join as an equity partner. They also will gain 3 seats on the Hulu board.

Hulu will add full length episodes of the following TV shows: “Lost,” “Grey’s Anatomy,” and “Desperate Housewives.”

Sex in the Queen’s Yard

A couple in their early 30′s decided that the best place to have sex was on a private grass bank at the Queen’s Palace, while Her Majesty was in the residence.

Unfortunately, the couple were watch by crowds of tourists, due to being in full view of the Castle’s Garter Tower, near by hotels, pubs, and local shops. Some Japanese tourist were able to film the couple for over 20 minutes before they were arrested by Royal Protection Squad Officers.

Mark Robinson, 44, witnessed the event and said, “One window from the guardroom opened up and when a soldier saw what was going on he told his mates – and lots of windows opened. The couple did not care who was looking and just kept going as if they were in their own bedroom. They even ignored the ‘Please Keep Off The Grass’ signs. A few soldiers were cheering them on from above & plenty of young people did the same from the roadside. There were camera flashes going off and people videoing.”

Manhattan Building Collapses

A 5 story building collapsed on a lower Manhattan construction site on today. Fire officials say that no one was inside when it came down.

The collapse happened early in the morning, just before the normal busy flow of pedestrians and traffic. The front half of the building looks like it was sheared off and the interior floors are visible from the street. A car on the street was covered in rubble.

Lewis Largent lives directly across the street said, the bricks started trickling off the top corner. I was thinking was it raining or something. Then within 10 seconds it just all came down like a wave or an avalanche.”

Lisa Schiller has lived in the neighborhood for 20 years and said, “We’re a little freaked out about it.” She saw the rubble when she came out for her morning walk.

Squidling Blackened and Bitten

Octomom Nadya Suleman was question yesterday by local police and child welfare officials, due to her 4 year old Autistic son showing up to school with a black eye and bite marks. Orange County’s Child and Family Services and 2 La Habra Police detectives visited the Suleman’s home, but there were no indications of any actions being taken on the mother of 14.

Police have said that they have made several visits to the Suleman’s home in the last year to respond to complaints about lost, trapped, or poorly cared for children. Orange County Social Services Spokeswoman TerryLynn Fisher said that her department can’t confirm or deny any welfare investigation because of confidentiality laws.

Suleman’s attorney says that the boy looks like the black eye came from a fall and the bite marks may have come from one of her 2 year old twins.

He told the Associated Press, “Poor Aidan, he falls a lot.He jumps at noises and things and bumps furniture and walls. I know CPS takes is very seriously. Nadya’s best option at this point is finding the young culprit and issuing a punishment. Nadya says she grounds them, takes their favorite toys away – the typical things that a mother will do. Aiden is a special case”

Links:

Follw me on Twitter

Disney Buys In

Royal Sex

Manhattan Meltdown

Octomom Abuse?

Popularity: unranked

NATO Versus the Pirates

We start our journey Nairobi, Kenya, where NATO forces rescued 20 fishermen on Saturday. Those pesky pirates launched an attack in the Gulf of Aden, were let go because the NATO forces had no authority to arrest them.

Within the recent weeks the number of pirate attacks has increased four times the amount from back in 2003.They have attacked at least 80 boats this year and now hold 18 ships and their respective crews hostage.

The release displays the difficulties of stopping the piracy scourge off the Horn of Africa. There were 2 attacks that were reported on Saturday. The first was in the morning, where pirates hijacked a Belgian-flagged ship and piloted the ship slowly towards Somalia. The second attack came later on Saturday evening, when pirates fired upon a Marshall Island flagged tanker. The Handytankers Magic, was able to get away from the pirates using, “Speed and Maneuver.”

A Dutch frigate from the NATO force trailed the pirates to a Yemeni ship that the pirates were using as a home base. This ship would allow the pirates to extend their range of attacks. Still, the Dutch commandos were to free 20 fishermen and recover 7 automatic weapons and 1 rocket-propelled grenade launcher.

Roger Middleton, a piracy expert at a London based Chatham House said, “NATO sees its main role as deterring and disrupting pirate activity” — not prosecuting brigands. Pirates plucked from the sea by foreign militaries are being tried abroad. French soldiers take pirates who have attacked French citizens to Paris; pirates who have attacked other nations are hauled to Kenya, such as the 11 seized Wednesday when the French navy found them stalking a Lebanese-owned ship. India took 24 suspects to Yemen, since half were from there. The Dutch took five suspects to Rotterdam, where they probably will be tried next month under a 17th-century law against “sea robbery.”

“When you weigh up the benefits — the huge money they can make — against the risks, the benefits are still worth it,” Middleton said. “Piracy has definitely pushed Somalia up the agenda to a place where it probably should have been 12 or 15 years ago. People are beginning to see the consequences of letting the country get into such a mess.”

Naked Kentucky Man Wielding Toilet Seat

Our next stop is Tucson, Arizona, where police say that Gary A. Decker,50, died several hours after officers had to use a Taser stun gun to subdue him. Decker, a resident of Kansas was staying in a downtown Tucson hotel, where police were called early Thursday morning because the staff heard loud banging and music coming from the room.

Sgt. Mark Robinson said that they had to use a pass key to get inside the room after Decker refused to open the door. Once inside they found the room ransacked, furniture broken, and Decker naked wielding the toilet seat he ripped off the toilet. They attempted to tase Decker, but it had no apparent affect. They eventually wrestled the man to the ground and placed him under arrest. Decker was originally in Tucson working as a temporary furniture liquidator.

Dramatic Rescue…For 7 Cows

Going across the pond to Burnham, England, 20 firefighters had complications attempting to save seven cows from a muddy English estuary. The rescue involved twenty firefighters and two hovercrafts on April 19th.

Investigators say that they believe the animals stampeded in the River Parrett in Somerset. The stampede may have been caused by possible gun fire. By the time the firefighters arrived, some of the cows were buried up to their neck in mud.

Firefighters used ropes and tractors drag the animals to dry ground. A Burnham Area Rescue Boat spokesman said the hovercraft were there to provided safety for the firefighters and helped herd the cows out of the river.

“The cattle were returned to their very grateful owner,” the spokesman said. “Throughout the rescue the RSPCA were in attendance, and, as far as we know, the cattle were none the worse for their ordeal. We used ropes, mud mats, tractors and other equipment to help free the trapped animals.”

Extreme Extermination

We close out today at the University of Victoria, were for many years they have been battling a losing battle against feral rabbits. The rabbit issue has gotten so out of hand that it is now spreading off campus.

No one at the university is aware of when the first rabbit appeared, but now they estimate there are over 1500 calling the school home. Now the university is getting demands from nearby neighbors, presuring the school to cull the animals.

“The Rodenator,” according to its U.S. Manufacture says, “it delivers a precisely measured mixture of propane and oxygen into the tunnel or burrow of invasive pests. This mixture is then detonated by the operator, causing an instantaneous underground shock wave of concussive force that eliminates the pests and in some (species specific) cases collapses some of the existing tunnel structure thus preventing immediate reinfestation.”

This option is causing heated debates and not surprisingly, animal rights advocates are upset about the university considering this device. The university says that it plans to try non-lethal approaches first.

Links

NATO saves Fisherman

Toilet Seat Wielding Naked Man

7 Cows Saved

Bunnycide

Popularity: unranked

So this Week has been wonderful so far. All the major sites (minus Digg) have done something for April Fools Day. Youtube decided that it would celebrate by flipping everything upside down. Google created a fake auto-complete program for Gmail. Even Reddit got into the action by making their website look just like Digg. Maybe the best site was done by Switzerland, who decided that they would play off the Australia’s Dream Job.

Now onto today’s stories. Luckily, I get to share some stories that aren’t Florida bound. It was difficult, but Florida really tried to squeeze in again with a few attempts. As always the links to the full story are at the bottom.

Calling Shotgun on the Wheelchair

Welcome to the Good Samaritan Christensen Village located in beautiful British Columbia, Canada. This retirement facility is where a wheelchair using woman is believed to have shot a facility manager Ken Perrier, who was attempting to evict the woman in her 40′s who ended up being shot by local police. Both Perrier and the unidentified woman were airlifted to the local hospital on Tuesday night and are listed to be in serious condition.

“It appears that a 40-year old-resident, a woman, had shot one of the employees that was at her door,” Corporal Peter Thiessen told reporters at the scene late Tuesday night. “There were four employees that were at the door that were in the process of evicting her. She ends up shooting one of them, departing, going out the front door on foot with a long-barreled weapon.”

After shooting Perrier, the woman attempted to commandeer a vehicle and thats when the officers arrived on the scene. Officers told her not to get into the vehicle, but police shot her after she failed to respond to commands. “There were indications she may have been in possession of a second weapon,” Cpl. Thiessen said.Police did recover a handgun and a shotgun from the scene.

An Army of One

Lets meet Christopher Chavez, 19, in Boone County. This new Army recruit was just a few short hours away from reporting for boot camp, but ended up in handcuffs instead. A drunken crime spree was the way he wanted to start his new army career.

Chavez was staying at a Airport Holiday Inn in Erlanger with some fellow recruits as they prepared for flying out for basic training. Chavez purportedly got in a fight with some other people on the 5th floor of the Hotel around 2 am. Chavez decided that it would be a good idea to grab a fire extinguisher off the wall, which in turn set off the fire alarm.

He then took the fire extinguisher with him to a Mobile Gas Station with the idea to get some more alcohol. Unfortunately, the Mobile was closed he decided that he would break in to get some beer. Police arrived on the scene, where Chavez was unsuccessful at breaking into the Mobile station. He went on to spit and curse at police officers as they attempted to handcuff the wannabe soldier. Police placed a spit mask on the retarded army of one, after they placed the cuffs on him.

Chavez was charged with alcohol intoxication and criminal mischief and was placed in the Boone County Jail.

Law Director Doesn’t follow the Law

Law Director Mark Provenza resigned on Tuesday after being sent back to jail for violating his probation. Now the city of Lorain is searching for a replacement to fill the vacant position. Provenza had just been released from serving 90 days for DUI, when he was to get his blood monitoring ankle bracelet. Prior to getting the new leg accessory, Provenza admitted that he had been drinking beer.

Mayor Tony Krasienko says that Provenza stepped down after city officials went to speak to him. He went onto state that if Provenza didn’t resign, that they would have no choice, but to pursue actions to get him removed.

In 2004, Provenza spent 5 days in the Bay Village jail for DUI. He was also convicted of DUI for hitting a fire hydrant in Lakewood. He also pleaded down a Parma Heights DUI to reckless operation. Then not to be out done, he pleaded no contest last year to DUI charges in Lakewood again. This time he rammed his wife’s minivan into the front porch of a home on Bunts Road.

Follw me on Twitter

Links:
Shotgun Grannie – British Columbia

Soldiers spree before basic  – boone county

Law Director no Judge Dread

Popularity: 1%