StellarZoom

So long iMovie and iTunes, I don’t need you, now that I have Spankmo mobile. I’m going with the only “adult” media system for my new iPad. That’s right, now I can have one hand handling my feed and the other feeding my app.

Spankmo Mobile has announced that it is going to be ready for the iPad. That’s right, the cofounder of Spankmo Mobile Alan Westenbroek said, “The iPad has been one of the most-anticipated consumer devices in recent history and we’re excited to announce immediate support. All of our clients’ sites will be ready with a rich, full-screen user experience.”

They are even going to be flashing, I mean displaying the full screen designs at XBiz and the Barcelona Summit Shows. For more information on how to get your porn pad, just go to Spankmo.com. Careful because its made for 18 and over.

Popularity: unranked [?]

The hype is over and no the crushing blow to the Tablet PC world has been fired. To bad that Apple is trying to fire at an existing market with a cotton ball bullet. The weeks’ leading up to today’s press conference was better than the device itself.

The Tapplet now being called the iPad, is a 9.7 inch touchscreen iPod with the ability to download books. It has a virtual keyboard when you want to send an email or add a calendar entry. You can spin it anyway you want, but it’s missing many things.

First, you can hook it up on a 3G network, but only AT&T. All that chum chumminess with Verizon was smoke and mirrors. Who has the bigger 3G network?

I can share my pictures, after I take them with a digital camera, then upload them to my pc/mac book and then sync it with my iPad. Well shit, why don’t I just send an email from my mac book if I wanted to share them?

Sweet Jesus you can watch movies on there! Well I can do that on my tablet pc, netbook, MacBook, desktop, or laptop and still do actual work too. It’s not like I’ll be able to show off that expense report or chart needs to the weekly meeting with the iPad. Or is there an app for that (which of course is going to cost extra).

Voice based software technology, so I can do speech to text, if I’m lazy enough, but for the iPad? I mean I’ glad I can preview a pile of pictures, but why not let it read my email to me or be able to tell it to open a file or folder?

Since the iPhone/iPod have a ton of accessories, what kind are going to be available for the iPad, since 90% were built with a cradle to fit these devices?

Battery life of ten hours is awesome, but why must you again, not give me the option of actually being able to replace the battery? I mean how hard is it for your in-house designers and development to come up with a battery compartment?

The last things I want to know are how much are iBooks going to cost? Will the iPad be compatible with the books I buy at Amazon.com? Why would I want to have to carry a MacBook, and iPad, so I can “instantly” share pictures with friends, when I could just carry the MacBook and do the same thing?

I don’t see this as the great Apple invention everyone was hoping to see unveiled. I see it as a magic trick, where Apple sells me smoke and mirrors and then takes $499 out of my wallet. Sadly, I will probably be okay with it, just as long as I get a bag of popcorn and a large soda.

Links:
Apple iPad
Wired iPad

Popularity: unranked [?]

The world of tablet PC’s are going to change on January 27th of 2010. Apple is scheduled to launch it’s first entry into the tablet Market. Apple fanboys and fangirls are drooling at the next product to purchase and covet. A new item to help them look down on all the common people with their HP’s and Microcrap software. Super-stellar websites like Engadget.com and Wired.com are dishing out the Apple Tablet Soup.

They have been working with the insiders, trying to get the word out and scoop on this new 10 or 11 inch displayed monster. Many have said that the interface and design looks like an iPhone, just massively expanded. Also it should have a touch screen interface and virtual keyboard. Many have dubbed the project/product iSlate, since Apple recently filed the name for a trademark., but they also filed one for the name iPad.

What will Apple unveil in only two days?

I am not an expert, but since Apple has been an innovator in design and development for portable devices, I expect something ridiculous. Figure that it will have more than a Qwerty Keyboard and probably have voice recognition, since it’s now standard on most touch screen products. The cursor will probably zip to where you touch on screen, but may also respond to voice commands like, “Open File” or “Run Video”.

Looking at some of the other products, I also think that it may respond to device movement for some of its games and features. I also think that built in 3G or 4G service will be included (look how chummy Verizon and Apple have become). To make it move advance, built in voice dialing, Video Conferencing, or even 4G Live streaming.
The only clue provided is a quote from a former Apple employee and he told New York Times’ Nick Bilton, “You will be very surprised how you interact with the new tablet.”

My reply to that is, that maybe it will read your eye movement, making drunk texting/facebooking that much more unique and fun. So for reading all of the article, I give you

Popularity: unranked [?]

Squeegee FTW

Welcome to Boulder, Colorado, where a local Red Robin employee was washing the restaurant window’s on Friday, when another man attempted to rob him with a knife. The man called police around 7:10 p.m. and told them a man walked up behind him holding a knife to his back demanding his wallet.

Police Spokeswoman Sara Huntley said that the employee picked up his squeegee and told the would be robber, “You don’t have to do this. All I have is a little cash.” The robber was spooked when a women came out of a nearby hotel.

New Weed Hiding Spot

A police office was shocked on Monday, when they had to arrest a man for making threatening statements to officers. Originally, they were called out due to a disturbance. The man was in possession on some Xanax pills, but decided that it was better to hide the bag of weed in the patrol unit under the backseat.

Police confirmed that the Patrol car doesn’t have a spot to hide your weed.

iPod Crusade

Microsoft has decided to take their war with the Apple to a whole new level. Microsoft has started to make strategic moves with a new ad campaign targeting the billions that Apple has made with people paying to fill their iPods. They plan to use the $15 Zune Pass music rental program.

Wes Moss will host the $15 Zune Pass program. Microsoft claims that users can enjoy more music on the $15.00 a month program and save thousands of dollars. It would take $30,000 to fill up a 120GB iPod, which is a good point in a tough economic state, but fails to disclose how long the “rentals” would last.

Microsoft is planning to have a flurry of Twitter buzz about a Zune-like product to be released in June. Microsoft has codenamed the project “Pink.” Microsfot originally denied the rumors, but their own twitter page tells a different story. It’s asks people to hold off buying a new iPhone for a new product to launch in June.

The product is believed to be the Zune HD, but knowing Microsoft it will be something that is wonky, designed awkwardly, and restrictive to use. Microsoft’s Marketing team needs to come up with new “attacks” on Apple, because they do a bad job in selling the good points of any of their products.

Ford Flexes Some Muscle

Ford Motor Company is trying to rebuild its wealth to stay off U.S. aid. Ford announced that it will issue 300 million shares of common stock in a public offering. It even said that it will use some of the money for a Union-run medical trust.

According to Bloomberg data, the new shares will price today. Ford has 2.8 billion shares outstanding as of May 1st, so the new stock would be an increase of 11 percent and raise $1.8 billion based on Monday’s closing price. The registration of the new stock is the first time that Ford has offered common shares directly to the public.

Chief Executive Officer Alan Mulally is taking advantage of shares that have more than tripled since March 4, when the second-biggest U.S. automaker announced a plan that pared debt by $9.9 billion. General Motors Corp. has lost 35 percent of its market value in that time.

“We continue to make strong progress on our transformation plan,” Mulally said in a statement yesterday. The offering is “another example of the fast, decisive action we are taking.”

Links:

Squeegee Supreme
You Don’t Hide Your Weed In There
iPod Crusaide
Ford Rebounds

Popularity: 50% [?]