StellarZoom

The sexiest CPR demonstration…EVAR

Popularity: 51% [?]

Goodby Cruel World

Thanks to the good people at hacked irl for finding the button to restart the universe. Just hopefully rebooting doesn’t cause a memory dump. At least we know the Matrix wasn’t made by Microsoft, because we would have gotten a B.S.O.D. already.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Urologists in Ireland released a report on April 2nd that there is an increase in testicle problems involving the mumps. After Niall Davis and her team research 50 years of statistical data and found out that people getting the vaccine for MMR dropped 33% over the last 15 years.

This drop maybe due to the vaccination being linked to autism, so parents have been avoiding the shot that prevents against Measles, Mumps, and Rubella. Now theses dirty and unprotected teens are gathering together in school and create a “perfect breeding ground for the virus.”

Davis went on to say, “It is those unvaccinated boys that we are now seeing in our urology department. It’s estimated that as many of 42 percent of patients with mumps experience at least one complication such as swollen testicles, aseptic meningitis, acute inflammation of the brain, deafness and pancreatitis.”

When teens are probed about their swollen tenders, it seems that it may not be related to Katy Perry, Scarlett Johansson, and Christina Hendricks.

Scarlett Johansson

Popularity: 21% [?]

You don’t tug on superman’s cape, You don’t spit into the wind, You don’t pull the mask of the ol’ lone ranger, And you don’t mess around with this cabbie…

A man from Waukegan called for a cab ride from Waukegan to Zion, Illinois. As the ride progressed, that’s when things got a little dicey for the cab driver. Around 3 a.m. the Zion police responded to a reported shooting and what they found was shocking.

The 44 year old cabbie was lying on top of his attacker, pinning him down until police arrived. The 38 year old attempted robber was found in a front yard pinned up against a house. Police cuffed the robber and noticed that the cabbie had been shot, not one but 4 times.

The driver was in critical condition after being shot in the left side of the neck, the right side of the neck, near the center of the neck and in the lower lip. A fifth bullet hole was found in the wind shield located near the place the drivers head would be located if he was in the car.

Link: Super Cabbie

Popularity: 1% [?]

I have heard of men and women hiring hitmen to knock off their spouses or ex-spouses. This is the first time I have read of someone targeting an animal. I think someone might need a little bit of help.

George is relaxing, before needing Jack Bauer's help.

A Golden Retriever named George is the target of an assassination plot. The reason for eliminating the dog is that he makes too much noise at night. He didn’t leave a deuce in someone’s yard…

George’s owners received a letter in the mail that gave an ultimatum or the dog would be silenced for ever. The owners notified the Sea Port Police and they are investigating the threat. The letter they received states, “Please make sure that you stop your dog barking at night between the hours of 8pm and 8am. You have 30 days in which to retrain your dog or come up with a solution. When we check up 30 days from today’s date, and your dog is still barking, there is a very high chance your dog will no longer be around to disturb the neighbors.”

The threat just happens to come around at the same time as the City of Cape Town is working on a last draft of an animal control law. The new law is going to order owners to get rid of any dog that cause a disturbance to it’s neighbors by, “barking for more than six minutes in any hour or more than three minutes in any half hour.”

Links: Dog Hitmen

Popularity: 1% [?]